Barney in Unistra!

Last week, the head of the department asked (You may replace that with ‘threatened’) us to attend a conference. Only 6 students participated in the last inter-university conference and as our class includes 8 students, you can see why he was angry!

Anyway, everybody attended the conference (first because Dr. C scared all of us and secondly, because we THOUGHT it must be interesting) and the room became overcrowded. We kinda overlapped while sitting (Yes, overlapped!) . L sat right on my kidney and I think N was on L’s pancreas. Dr. L sat in the window (believe me! IN the window), J, L and Y sat in the third row, sort of out of the room and  A had to re-act Roberto Benini’s famous stepping-on-people’s-heads to get to me when she arrived! (important point: when she arrived the first lecture was already finished!)

The first speaker was a published professor. He talked for 1 hour (felt like 10! KMN!) and answered each question at length (10 minutes each!)!! By the way, Dr. C made us ask questions. It was like “B., don’t you have any questions?”

This is the story of the second one who was a PHD student.
A arrived and when she successfully sat beside me asked “who’s talking about what?”
“Prince Harry about Milton”
“Who?”
“10 o’clock, the blonde guy who has suited in a very UPWARD position”

She was a little confused “You watch too much TV”. So she took a glance at this blue-eyed blonde guy who was wearing a dark blue Dolce and Gabaña suit and matching tie, and snorted “Oh my God, he is exactly something between Prince Harry and Barney!” He wasn’t, he was something between Prince Harry and Zero (the character from Beetle Bailey!). Harry looks rather sly and this guy looked so naïve. No need to say, Barney is much more intelligent (and much cuter at that!). After A made me promise to behave myself, we sat to listen. But, you know, I saw her looking at the poor boy and trying not to laugh.

So he started talking. He was energetic, eager to talk and really knowledgeable. But, he was so nervous that he made huge grammatical and pronunciation mistakes, he corrected himself after each one and we tried to behave, but it was rather difficult. This is the written conversation between A and I during the lecture. Dr. C was so happy that we were listening and taking notes!!

B: I love young lecturers at least they have FCE (In fact, pun was not intended. It’s a made-up word that A and I use a lot. Acronym for Faith, Courage, Enthusiasm. Hint: watch Company Men and you’ll understand)
A: He is blushing too. But at least, I don’t have to pretend I’m awake. This is kinda fun!
B: He’s got the Yips!
A: I hope he doesn’t make those kind of mistakes! With you at my side, the chance that I won’t laugh would be below zero (grinning). So happy L is not here to help you. In fact, you don’t need her. You can turn his lecture to a fiasco on your own?
B: “That’s outrageous. When have I done that?”
A: “When haven’t you? Do I have to remind you of opening L’s microphone so she had to ask a question in that stupid Wittgenstein conference?” It was awesome. She hesitated and said “sorry, what is the theory called?” after 4 hours of listening.
B: “Totally L’s fault. She dared me!
A: “and you Accepted the Challenge! Lawyered!”

And suddenly the disaster happened and the guy said “This LEGENDARY poem…”

A nudged me : “WHAT did he say?”
B: “wait for it…”
A: “Hey, I’m trying here”
B: “To…”
A: “NOT TO laugh. Please stop Barnizing” (another made-up word, but you got it, didn’t you?)
And we were silent for 5 minutes.
A: “Stop fidgeting”
B: “I’m bored. Can we take the class outside?”

A was so trying not to laugh. “Don’t you dare say the next line” and suddenly the boy did it for me when he ended his lecture with “My research was suc.s.e.x.ful, cough.successful.cough! To the extent…”

A and I looked at each other, mouth agape, and suddenly we jumped, stepping on all the feet and the heads which kept us from reaching the door. You can imagine what happened outside. Kinda explosion! Thank God, it was the ending. I don’t think Dr. C threatens us to take part in another inter-university event ever again!!

In the corridor A, still laughing, cross examined me:
A: “You talked to him before the presentation?”
B: “No”
A: “You want me to believe you didn’t have anything to do with that?”
B: “I didn’t. Hello…. The guy studies in Gent”
A: “How could he POSSIBLY dress like that and use those words? Seriously? You don’t know him?”

Cut to me rolling my eyes! “Yes, I bought him the suit and made him use Barney’s catch phrases. Get a grip”
A: (still laughing): “I’m never going to sit beside you ever!”
B: “You said that last time. In fact, you said you’d never sit between ma and L”
A: “You’re both incorrigible. I hate you”
B: “You are an idiot”
A: “Awwwww, that’s so sweat